Planet of the Apes

It's impossible to tell substance from a trailer. Trailers are two minutes and thirty seconds long and are often the best parts of the film. They offer teasing quotes of dialogue sprinkled with narration briefly describing the plot. They flash around visual stimuli and the names of big names attached to the production. Surely, seeing Tim Burton's name stapled all over the trailer guarantees one thing: it'll be dark and moody. Seeing his name doesn't tell us that it'll be a good movie, however. In fact, I was suprised to hear of Burton's involvement ina special effects showcase. Burton is almost completely unexperienced in creating big-budget sci-fi. He's done the fantasy thing to decent effect (Sleepy Hollow and Edward Scissorhands), but sci-fi wouldn't seem to be his forte. I assume that he decided to test himself, with the thought of making himself into a bankable director.

After seeing his first foray into $100 million dollar territory, it's plain to see that he could have done without the experience. He was able to get the actors he wanted but was unable to coax good performances out of almost any of them. Wahlberg is disappointingly bland, Warren doesn't have enough of a part (she's incredibly underused), Michael Clarke Duncan doesn't have much to chew on, and Tim Roth is only asked to look menacing under all that makeup. Helena Bonham Carter is actually very good, she commands more sympathy than all the oppressed humans combined. She's able to express a wide range of emotions from under the depths of the makeup which definitely ranked as an accomplishment. It's also an accomplishment for Rick Baker, who continues to redefine what it means to create visual effects. His exemplary work in How The Grinch Stole Christmas is suprisingly surpassed in this ape-fest. The sheer numbers of apes that are required to be produced makes his work even more spectacular. The costume design is also excellent, as is the set design. Technically, Planet of the Apes is quite good. You expect as much, however, coming from a nine digit budget.

The film, however, never seems to stand up and grab your interest. It meanders along its focus for much of the time, choosing to sometimes focus on a love triangle between man, woman, and ape-woman. It's a silly emphasis, made even sillier by the end. We never feel for the humans and their condition of oppression. Most of the humans (including those which we're actually supposed to care about) never really seem all that "human" in the first place. To me they exist as a reason to watch apes jump around, beating on them in the misty, ambient lighting.

Sure, there are a couple of notable parts of the film, especially the sequence in which the audience learns how the apes got control and who is their God figure. It's a compelling revelation. The crash sequence of our Air Force recruit is also pretty good. We gleefully watch as it careens out of control through the marshy forests of the planet, blasting through trees like they were toothpicks.

There are a few scenes of such staggering awkwardness that it was hard not to bust out laughing. These scenes take place near the end, with a message coming from the sky and a trip through time at the very end of the film that's horrendous. It's another attempt at a twist ending, and once again the conclusion doesn't make a lick of sense. Twist endings are a trend in Hollywood right now, but it doesn't seem to matter if the twist actually makes sense. They rarely do (Memento comes to mind as being successful, Fight Club does not fare as well), but scriptwriters seem to feel compelled to write one in whether it makes sense or not. Are audiences that close minded? Do filmmakers really think we're ignorant enough to forget about the last two hours of our life?

Burton did what I thought he would: he created a visually entrancing summer blockbuster. But that other trait of being a summer blockbuster, i.e. being mindless, also rings in as true for Planet of the Apes. In a summer of remakes and sequels, Planet of the Apes is just another flick of only mild interest.

On a scale of 1 to 10 beastial kisses : 5