Reindeer Games

Since there's so little to like about this film, I'll say it right out. The only thing this film has going for it is the charisma of Charlize Theron. I'd be hard pressed to find an actress working in Hollywood today who is more aesthetically pleasing than Theron. She does all she can to bring the film out of the gutter, but alone she can't manage.

Reindeer Games is a muddled disaster, one that becomes a long, tediously contrived mix of confusing plot twists and horrible characterizations. Not only is it an early candidate for worst film of the year, its one of the more painful experiences at the movies I've ever had. Other than gazing at the beauty of Theron, the most interesting thing I saw at the movies last night was watching the people next to me fumble around on the ground trying to find something they dropped.

Rarely do I find a heist scene that I don't like. I enjoyed the cleverness of the several brought to life in The Thomas Crown Affair. I even enjoyed the ones in the otherwise lackluster Entrapment. Reindeer Games, on the other hand, has one of the stupidest, most lousily brought to life heist scenes I've ever laid witness to. It is frantic in its energy but silly in its setup. It's a heist that is based entirely on luck rather than skill. I was never convinced that any of the characters knew what they were doing. Adding to the unbelievable success of the robbery is the fact that it was planned on a map that seemed to be drawn by a fourth grader with a blue crayon.

There are so many problems with the script that I couldn't possibly discuss one-tenth of them here. I suppose that John Frankenheimer did all that he could with the drivel he was given. Its obvious that with Reindeer Games he's just trying to pay his utility bills.

Ben Affleck seems to be just occupying space, giving almost no heart to his role. Gary Sinise also seems to be just spouting lines, never caring what he's saying. Charlize Theron manages to make something more out of what she's been given, but she's the loner in the entire ensemble.

The setup of the plot is simple: Rudy (Affleck) has been thrown in jail for grand theft auto. His best friend in the joint is Nick, who has been sending and receiving letters from a girl for upwards of six months. Nick is killed and when Rudy gets released he decides to take up the identity of Nick so he can get the girl. They enjoy a wild night together, all the time Ashley (Theron) thinking that Rudy is Nick, her long time pen pal. Then, Ashley's brother Gabriel shows up and changes everything. His aims differ than everybody elses: he wants to rob a casino and he wants Rudy to help.

What follows is double cross, triple cross, and quadruple cross. By the ending, the betrayals are piled on top of each other so quickly that it's nearly impossible to follow. By that time, however, you've lost the will to care.

On a scale of 1 to 10 lightless Rudolphs : 2